Let’s be real, parenting is relentless.  Many of us Highly Sensitive Parents don’t get nearly the amount of down time that we need to feel calm and energized.  Instead, we find ourselves rushing from task to task, frantically trying to accomplish everything that needs to get done in a day.

First of all, this “busyness” is NOT a “you” problem - it’s a societal problem.  Parents (particularly moms) have an immense amount of pressure put on them, and we were never meant to care for our children in such isolation.  Throughout much of history, living in communities or villages meant that we had childcare (from family members or other parents), shared cooking or household chores, and just more social support.  These days, many parents are expected to do all of that on their own, plus attend to modern-day tasks such as paperwork, emails, volunteering, birthday parties, etc!  When parents work outside the home in addition to taking care of their children and household, this can add another layer of intensity to the schedule.  Conversely, staying at home with your children can add another layer of emotional and sensory intensity for many HSPs.  No matter what our lives look like, early parenthood is simply HARD.

All that said, I don’t want to minimize self-care or shame those of us who simply feel too busy to care for ourselves amidst the many responsibilities that our lives bring.  Rather, I have a simple but powerful suggestion that can support any parent who is feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated: Micro-breaks!

One of my good friends (a mom of two young kids) recently set a goal for herself to have 20 minutes total of alone time per day.  While ideally she would be getting much more than that, 20 minutes is what feels do-able right now.  That’s okay!  But protecting those 20 minutes, and being intentional about them, becomes extra important because the time is so precious.  This is where micro-breaks come in.

I define a “micro-break” as between 1-10 minutes of downtime.  Downtime can look like:

• Laying down and closing your eyes

• Doing a few yoga poses

• A quick walk

• Calling a friend

• Watching a funny video

• Mindfulness or breathing practices

• Anything that feels calming or energizing, depending on what you need

Why 1-10 minutes?  While many of us HSP parents would love to get 1-10 hours of alone time per day, it can be really difficult to find extended pockets of time to relax.  Because of the difficulty, many of us simply give up and get no downtime, or when we get it, we’re so exhausted that we numbly scroll Instagram or rush around trying to find something else to do.  By intentionally taking micro-breaks, we fully allow ourselves to relax into whatever it is we are doing to replenish ourselves.

I sometimes find it helpful to set a brief timer so that I can relax into that time fully - in that case, I’ll literally set a timer for 10 minutes, plop down on the couch, and read a few pages of a book.  You might also simply pause and listen to a favorite song before getting out of your car, or walk once around the block.  Similarly, taking 10 deep breaths or taking a minute or two to stretch is something that’s accessible to us most of the time, even when a child is crying or it’s time to prepare a meal.

These micro-breaks will not immediately resolve our stress and overwhelm, but they can take it down a few notches.  By giving yourself permission to relax and take time for yourself, you replenish your energy and remind yourself that you are worthy of feeling good - you don’t exist simply to accomplish tasks or take care of others.  That said, pause right now and think of one micro-break that feels achievable to you.  Do it - right now if at all possible!  Notice how it feels to take that time for yourself.  I encourage you to incorporate micro-breaks into your daily routine.  If you’re anything like me, it will make a world of difference for you as a Highly Sensitive Parent.

If you’re looking for more support for you as an HSP parent, or guidance around parenting your HSP child, check out my Resources Page!