3 Ways to Cope with Depression as a Highly Sensitive Parent

Last week, I shared a bit about how Depression can feel for HSP Parents and where to find support. The bottom line is, please do not suffer alone! Having social and professional support is critical in finding healing from depression. If you are feeling down, off, or “not yourself,” please consider the three coping skills below to cope with depression:

1. Therapy

Having professional support is often necessary for those experiencing depression.  Here are some ways that therapy can support you as an HSP parent:

• Gives you a safe space to explore thoughts and feelings

• Helps you engage in self-compassion

• Teaches mindfulness skills

• Supports you toward making positive changes in your life

• Can help you explore other treatment options such as talking to a physician or psychiatrist about antidepressant medication

In my other career as a therapist, a wise supervisor once told me “Anxiety and Depression are just two sides of the same coin.” While it’s certainly possible for people - including HSPs - to experience depression on its own, I have seen many HSP parents come to a place of depression after being highly anxious or overwhelmed for a period of time. In this case, it can be important to address both anxiety and depression in your work with a therapist.

2. Peer/Social Support

Engaging in social interactions when feeling depressed is also very powerful.  While depression often causes people to isolate, it is important to push past this tendency and seek peer support, whether informally with friends or within a therapy or peer support group.  Gathering with others reduces your sense of isolation and increases meaningful connection, making you feel less alone in your difficult experiences.  Here are some ideas for accessing social support:

• Connect with a trusted friend or family member

• Find a moms or parents group in your community - these can be through therapy practices, Meetup.com, yoga studios, libraries, children’s museums, or at churches or community centers.

• Informally, you might connect with peers with similar interests through a non-parent-related group (see below for ideas)

3. Explore Identity and Activities outside of parenthood

Often, a factor in parents’ depression is a loss of identity outside of parenthood.  Even when parenthood is cherished and important to a parent, they can find themselves realizing “My life is so different now!  Who am I outside of being a parent?”  Returning to favorite activities or previous roles - or even discovering new ones - can be helpful to help parents find a new sense of purpose and excitement in their lives.  This could look like:

• Taking one day a month away from home to spend with friends, go on a day retreat, or walk somewhere beautiful

• Set aside time to engage in a hobby or sport: tennis, rock climbing, painting, playing music, etc

• If staying at home, consider returning to work part time or more if desired

It’s important to seek professional help to manage your depression. If you feel that you might be depressed, or even if you just feel “off” or “not yourself,” please seek out a therapist who is knowledgeable about High Sensitivity and Depression. You can find a list of HSP-knowledgeable therapists on her Dr. Elaine Aron’s website, but even simply googling “HSP Therapist in [your state, province, or country]” can yield helpful results. If you’re in California, I would love to support you in my role as a therapist at Inner Nature Therapy. Postpartum Support International also offers many resources for parents - even those outside of the postpartum period. Some people also benefit from medication to reduce symptoms of depression; if you feel that this might be the case for you, reach out to your primary care doctor or to a psychiatrist to discuss your options. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis and live in the United States, you can call 988 for support and resources.

Disclaimer: This blog post is provided for educational and informational purposes only and is not medical or mental health advice. The information presented here is not intended to diagnose, treat, heal, cure or prevent any illness, medical, or mental health condition. Although Amy Lajiness is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, licensed in the state of California, she is not acting in that capacity here. Amy Lajiness is acting as an HSP Parenting Coach and Educator, not as a licensed medical health professional, mental health professional, or in her professional capacity as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Working with us is not a guarantee of any results. Inner Nature Therapy, Inc. owns all copyrights to the materials presented here unless otherwise noted.

written by Amy Lajiness, HSP Parent Coach and Educator

HSP Parents and Depression

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve shared about HSP Parents and Anxiety, but this week, I’m delving into a slightly heavier topic. Like anyone else, HSP Parents can at times experience low mood and depression. Parenthood is intense, relentless, and exhausting (and beautiful, joyful, and meaningful). When sensitive or empathic parents don’t have enough down time, or when daily life or circumstances are intense, they can be prone to experiencing depression.

So what does depression feel like for HSP parents?  It can include:

• Low or no enjoyment in daily life

• Feeling down, depressed or hopeless

• Changes or challenges in sleep or appetite

• Fatigue or low energy

• Poor self-esteem or feelings of worthlessness and guilt

• Suicidal thoughts

For HSP parents, having low energy and poor sleep can create challenges parenting their children, which often feeds back into feelings of guilt and lack of enjoyment in daily life. Some of the most significant factors in causing depression are poor sleep and lack of supportive social relationships, both of which can take a hit for parents. While I understand that it is much easier said than done, consider if you can take steps to improve your sleep quality and duration, or to connect with people or activities that bring you joy. Engaging in creative expression such as art, music, or physical movement can also bring healing and help you reconnect with your body when you’re feeling low.

One of the most challenging aspects of depression is that it often tricks people into believing that they will never get better - that they will feel this way forever. This is not true, and often prevents people from seeking the help that they need. You are not alone in this, and you can heal and find joy again. Next week, I’m sharing a few basic tips on how to cope with depression - after it’s published, you can find that blog linked here.

It’s important to seek professional help to manage your depression. If you feel that this might be the case, please seek out a therapist who is knowledgeable about High Sensitivity. You can find a list of HSP-knowledgeable therapists on her Dr. Elaine Aron’s website, but even simply googling “HSP Therapist in [your state, province, or country]” can yield helpful results. If you’re in California, I would love to support you in my role as a therapist at Inner Nature Therapy. Postpartum Support International also offers many resources for parents - even those outside of the postpartum period. Some people also benefit from medication to reduce symptoms of depression; if you feel that this might be the case for you, reach out to your primary care doctor or to a psychiatrist to discuss your options. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis and live in the United States, you can call 988 for support and resources.

Disclaimer: This blog post is provided for educational and informational purposes only and is not medical or mental health advice. The information presented here is not intended to diagnose, treat, heal, cure or prevent any illness, medical, or mental health condition. Although Amy Lajiness is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, licensed in the state of California, she is not acting in that capacity here. Amy Lajiness is acting as an HSP Parenting Coach and Educator, not as a licensed medical health professional, mental health professional, or in her professional capacity as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Working with us is not a guarantee of any results. Inner Nature Therapy, Inc. owns all copyrights to the materials presented here unless otherwise noted.

written by Amy Lajiness, HSP Parent Coach and Educator