3 Tips for the Introverted Highly Sensitive Parent

“All Highly Sensitive People are Introverts” - True or False?  

False!  While many of us conflate Introversion and Sensitivity, they are in fact different traits!  That said, about 70% of Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) are also introverts.  Put simply, Introverts tend to be depleted by social interactions and need quiet, alone time to re-energize.  HSPs, similarly, tend to be overstimulated easily in chaotic environments, and our ability to empathize is a gift that can also leave us drained when we are connecting deeply with others.

As a Highly Sensitive Introvert (HSI) Parent myself, I can attest to many of the challenges we face in managing day-to-day parenthood and also getting our own social/emotional needs met.  I’m sharing a few observations and tips with my fellow HSI Parents below:

1. Set your own expectations about kid-related social activities - You may notice many other parents packing their schedules full of outings, play dates, and commitments.  It’s very likely that having daily social interactions in non-home environments will be too intense for you as a HSI.  Please know that you have many gifts to offer your children- emotional attunement, creating a calm home environment, etc - and you do NOT need to be engaging in outings or activities at a certain frequency.  For many HSI parents, 1 per week is just about right, but listen to what you need above all else.

2. Make sure you are still getting social support - For many HSI parents, we are already rather drained by the day-to-day of parenthood and find it difficult to muster up the energy to connect with other adults.  The truth is, though, that we need social support to get us through tough times, and simply to add a sense of belonging and fun to our lives!  It can be easy to over-isolate as HSI parents.  If you can’t think of the last time you had a social interaction that was enjoyable to you, or if you find yourself feeling lonely and isolated, you may need to push yourself just slightly outside of your comfort zone to connect with others.  This can be as simple as smiling and saying hi to a parent at drop-off, asking a co-worker to grab lunch with you, or inviting a friend to attend a yoga class with you.  Finding balance as an HSI parent includes a healthy mix (for you) of social time and alone time.

3. Give yourself permission to attend to your own needs for quiet/alone time - I’ll admit, this much easier said than done.  Both HSPs and Introverts need alone time as much as we need sleep, or oxygen, for optimal physical and mental health.  Yet, as parents (especially if your child is quite young), it can be quite challenging to find time and space to take care of your own needs.  If you struggle with this, it may be helpful to dig a little deeper and find some support.  My Highly Sensitive Parenthood Course (LINK) and Nourish Coaching Package (LINK) are both great resources for reflecting on your needs as a HSP parent, and getting some supportive accountability around taking good care of yourself and your family.

Lastly, if you’re interested to learn more about Introverted HSPs, I encourage you to read Jacquelyn Strickland, LPC’s article “Introversion, Extroversion, and the Highly Sensitive Person.” Strickland goes into detail around both the popular understandings of HSP and Introversion/Extroversion, as well as dives into research around these traits.

And if you’re looking for additional support to help you thrive as a Highly Sensitive Parent, I’ve got you! My Nourish Coaching Package offers 5 one-on-one video calls to help you overcome challenges and feel empowered in your strengths as a HSP or Empath parent. I’d love to support you - just click here for more information about the Nourish Coaching Package!