3 Tips to Carve Out Time for Yourself as an HSP Parent
One of the main challenges that HSP parents face is lack of time. We live in a busy, demanding world, and parenthood is relentless! It can be incredibly difficult to create time to take care of yourself, and hearing the media extol the values of self-care without recognizing how many barriers parents of young children face can feel incredibly frustrating.
So yes, it is hard to make time to attend to your wants and needs as a parent. That said, it is also incredibly important to do so - your energy and mood impacts not only yourself, but your family and children as well. Taking care of yourself is actually a way of caring for and loving your children, who deserve to have a healthy and happy parent whenever possible!
That said, I wanted to give you some practical tips to help you create more time for yourself:
1. Alarm Setting - This is so easy and effective! Basically, you use the alarm on your phone or watch to create a protected time for leisure or rest. As an example, while your child naps or watches a show, you can set your alarm for 30 minutes (or 15, or 60, etc), during which time you do whatever you want to do! This does not include household or work-related tasks like catching up on email or laundry. This does include activities such as reading a book, hanging out in your cozy corner, calling a friend, or just resting.
2. Scheduling - I know, it takes work and intentionality to schedule anything! For bigger commitments or periods of self-care, I often “batch” my scheduling time. For example, if I want to meet up with a friend, enjoy an online yoga class, and book a retreat day or day off of work, I’ll sit down with my calendar and register/plan all at once. This offers two benefits: it gives you something to look forward to, and it creates a protective boundary around the activity so that you can make sure it happens. Of course, scheduling childcare may be an additional challenge here, but it’s important to remember just how good it feels to protect and plan for both your leisure time and your rest.
3. Accountability - If you’re anything like me, you probably struggle with people-pleasing! This often goes hand-in-hand with the HSP trait, and while people love us for it, it can too often lead to overcommitment and burnout. Commit to protecting your time and your energy, and share these plans with someone who can keep you accountable, such as a partner, friend, or therapist. True story: I have, several times, added a day off to my calendar and then knowingly scheduled work meetings over the top of it. Please, don’t do this to yourself! It often helps me to share my intention and plan with an accountability buddy who can call me on my (unhelpful) people-pleasing tendencies and remind me of the importance of prioritizing my own needs first.
Do you have any other tips and tricks for how to create and protect time for self-care? Drop a note in the comments below so we can learn from each other!
written by Amy Lajiness, HSP Parenthood Coach and Educator
