Understanding HSP Parents and Anxiety
In my work as a therapist at Inner Nature Therapy (for clients in the state of California), I support many Highly Sensitive (HSP) Parents who are also experiencing anxiety of various types. For the purpose of this article, I’ll focus on Generalized Anxiety, but other types of anxiety, such as Social Anxiety and Panic (see blog on Panic here), can also afflict HSPs.
While I can’t go into detail here about diagnostic criteria or clinical treatment, I want to share some important considerations for HSP parents with anxiety.
Put very simply, anxiety tends to include an overactive nervous system. Anxiety can feel like your heart beating quickly, shaky hands, quickened breathing, and feeling jittery and worried. Unfortunately, one of the main challenges for HSPs is that they tend to be easily overstimulated, which can lead to a more intense experience of anxiety or panic than for a non-HSP. When the HSP is in a busy or intense environment, or has many thoughts or tasks racing through their head, they are even more overstimulated than the typical person.
Parenthood is, for many people, pretty darn overstimulating. There is a constant list of tasks to accomplish: buy more diapers, research preschools, prepare meals, etc. In addition, children tend to have a lot of attentional needs. When they want to get your attention, they may tug at your hand or call your name repeatedly, or may interrupt household or work tasks over and over. While this is totally normal behavior for young kids, it can also be quite overstimulating for many Highly Sensitive Moms, Dads, and Caregivers! This can lead to feelings of guilt or helplessness, but I promise you, you are not deficient as a parent if you find yourself overstimulated by your children at times! There are solutions to reduce overstimulation, even when it comes from your own children. You are not alone in your experience of this, and it has nothing to do with how much you love or how well you care for your child.
So what are we to do about this? If you think you might have an Anxiety disorder, or are just feeling like something is off, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health provider for support. And when you do, be sure to mention that you are an HSP so that you know your provider is knowledgeable about the HSP trait. Dr. Elaine Aron, the researcher who first coined the term HSP, maintains a list of HSP-knowledgeable therapists on her website. If you’re in California, I can support you as a therapist at Inner Nature Therapy.
Once you begin working with your therapist - or even if you have one already but have not yet broached the topic of High Sensitivity - one of the most important topics to bring up is how your anxiety may be tied to being overstimulated. You and your therapist might choose to track what situations or stimuli feel intense for you, or perhaps brainstorm ways to reduce sensory overstimulation. For example, noise-reducing earplugs or dimming lights/tech screens can be easy ways to reduce sensory input for HSPs. My Highly Sensitive Parenthood Course also has two video modules on how to reduce and cope with overstimulation, and can serve as a wonderful supplement to therapy!
I’m just scratching the surface on HSPs and anxiety here - it’s a huge topic, and there is lots more to say! In next week’s blog, I’ll be sharing 3 ways to cope as an anxious Highly Sensitive Parent. To make sure you don’t miss out, subscribe to our newsletter for a quick weekly update from Highly Sensitive Parenthood.
Disclaimer: This blog post is provided for educational and informational purposes only and is not medical or mental health advice. The information presented here is not intended to diagnose, treat, heal, cure or prevent any illness, medical, or mental health condition. Although Amy Lajiness is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, licensed in the state of California, she is not acting in that capacity here. Amy Lajiness is acting as an HSP Parenting Coach and Educator, not as a licensed medical health professional, mental health professional, or in her professional capacity as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Working with us is not a guarantee of any results. Inner Nature Therapy, Inc. owns all copyrights to the materials presented here unless otherwise noted.
written by Amy Lajiness, HSP Parent Coach and Educator
